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Monthly Archives: September 2012

It Matters

I’m sitting here on my porch on one of the first crisp fall nights, sipping coffee and listening to the kids running around playing inside.

I wonder how life gets so complicated, so overwhelming, so draining.

And wondering how to slow it down.

To find my sanity again. To find peace.

Even though I am sitting, surrounded by the stillness, so many thoughts are running in my head.

This week alone I have laid to rest a goldfish and a treasured family dog, while consoling grieving children. I have mourned with close friends and family over the loss of a beloved grandma. I have felt the emotional and physical exhaustion of lifting people up in times of desperate need.

And as I sit here thinking back over my week, I realize that’s what it’s all about. Doing life together, in community, lifting each other up and helping someone through their struggles and affliction.

Because in the end, it doesn’t matter if I missed a day of work, if the laundry didn’t get done, if the kids went to bed late, if I didn’t make it to that meeting.

What matters is that someone feels a little stronger, a little more loved, a little better prepared to face tomorrow.

Make a difference.

 
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Posted by on September 26, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Waggie-girl

My sweet Waggie-girl,

I can’t begin to tell you how much you have enriched my life. You have given me far more than I have ever been able to repay. Your gentle demeanor, your constant companionship, your unwavering loyalty to me and our family is immeasurable. I love you more than words can express. I only hope you can somehow know that. I hope you can feel it in my hugs and sense it in my voice.

We are preparing to say goodbye. It is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I will forever feel a void without you here, greeting me when I come home even though you can’t see me, laying at my feet each night as I watch TV because you have to be that close, rolling out of bed almost stepping on you because you have to lay on my side.

I will not miss the injections, the challenges, the medications, watching you hurting, though you never so much as uttered a complaint in any way.

I pray that Heaven is glorious; full of treats and all the comforts you have been deprived of due to your condition. I pray that you will be able to see … and that you will continue watching over us, as you have been so faithful to do for 11 years.

Until we meet again, you remain forever … my sweet Waggie-girl. 

 
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Posted by on September 19, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

No Regrets

I did it wrong. All wrong. From as far back as I can remember … wrong.

I haven’t lived the best life. Not to the fullest. No gusto.

I’ve probably messed up more than I’ve succeeded.

But you know what?

It doesn’t matter and I don’t care.

I am not here to do things right. I’m not here to make you happy.

I am here to mess up … big time.

I am here to learn and to grow.

I am here to nurture, teach, and love my children.

I am here to be my best self.

I don’t get it right every day. Most days I squeak by.

Each day is new, open, free for the taking. And so I grab onto it … and try to enjoy the ride.

 

 
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Posted by on September 12, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Bittersweet

And they’re off …

Back to school, onward and upward.

They did much better than me.

They said “Mom, I’ve got this. I’ll be fine.” and “I can do it on my own.”

They could have pretended to need me … just a little.

A fellow mom friend said to me this morning “It’s hard to let them go, but it sure is fun to watch them fly.”

She is so right. And fly they do.

Lately, it seems like they are soaring. The good news is, they are enjoying the ride.

And I am enjoying it too, from the sidelines – their loudest cheerleader.

 
1 Comment

Posted by on September 5, 2012 in Uncategorized

 
 
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