Monthly Archives: May 2014

Sarah’s Prayer

There is another side to my story; one that forms from the very beginning of my existence to acceptance into this world. To truly understand adoption and the blessing it brings, you must also hear the other side of the story. I can never express the gratitude I have for my parents who prayed for me, accepted me, raised me and loved me in a way that never left me feeling alone. This part of the story is the second thread, knit together with the first, to create a beautiful tapestry of faith, through the love of two families. Here is Sarah’s Prayer.

Sarah sat in the new rocking chair looking out the picture window. She stared past her front yard, past the neighbor’s house across the street, and down the block, peering around the corner. She wasn’t looking for anything in particular. She was simply waiting. Waiting was something she had gotten very good at over the past five years. She learned to wait for disappointing test results. She learned to wait for discouraging doctor recommendations. Yet, through it all she learned to wait on God, for she knew there had to be a bigger plan.

Now, Sarah sits waiting again. She prays that this time the news might be worth the wait, the frustration, the heart break. It was only six months ago that she and Abe had been interviewed by the social worker. Sitting at the window on this crisp spring day, Sarah felt like it had been years. They filled out all the paperwork. Sarah meticulously inspected every document herself to be sure they left nothing out. She remembers how elated they both felt when their home inspection was approved and how they bought this rocking chair to celebrate, hoping one day soon to cradle a child in this same chair.

Sarah rocks back and forth. Abe paces. Their minds both replay the two previous phone calls. They held each other, sobbing, the day the first call came. The social worker told them a baby would soon be available for them to adopt – a little boy, blond hair, one month old, a good eater already according to his foster mother. Sarah and Abe were overjoyed anticipating the baby boy’s arrival in their home. Two weeks later a second call came. The birth parents changed their mind and refused to relinquish their rights to the baby boy. Sarah wept. She wept as though she had just lost her own child. Abe was stunned to silence. In time, both turned to God, placed the baby boy in His hands and prayed for the gift of a child.

Today, they wait together for the phone to ring, and when it finally does, they are both afraid to answer.


Posted by on May 8, 2014 in Uncategorized


Rachel Weeps

Quite some time ago, I began writing a story. In many ways it is my mother’s story, but it is also not unlike many others. In honor of Mother’s Day, I give you a piece of this story. It is a tribute to the mothers who, like mine, made the ultimate sacrifice to give their child a better life. My mother chose life. I am forever grateful.

Rachel was only seventeen when she was sent to live with her grandmother and finish her schooling. She cried as she said goodbye to mother and father, but her tears dried quickly. She had learned, very recently, that tears were just a part of the process. They would continue to come and go, some days in waves, other days only a brief welling up inside that she would choke back. She knew how this event would end. She knew she would be back soon and life would go on. In this she could rest assured, yet she struggled to convince herself after the events she had endured in the past six weeks.

As Rachel thought back to that mild Friday afternoon, she felt the warmth of the sunlight pouring through the open window washing over her as she lay in that hospital bed. In this bed, she would spend the next two nights struggling with sleep unable to clear her mind and settle her heart. It wasn’t long before she really began to feel the intensity of the pain that filled her body. Radiating from her back, it spread like wildfire through her womb. She could not control her body as it began the grueling process of bringing forth life amidst the darkest shadows of her sorrow. Within moments that felt like a lifetime of suffering, Rachel brought her baby into the world and it was then that she wept. She wept from the pain and the relief. She wept from despair and grief. She wept because she was now preparing her goodbye.

The nurses cleaned the baby, swaddled her in a soft, warm blanket, and carried her away as Rachel’s cries filled the room. Rachel begged to see her baby. She begged for a moment alone with her. After seeing her suffer enough, one kind and gentle nurse brought Rachel her child. She watched as Rachel held her baby for the first and last time. She watched as Rachel studied her face so she would always remember. She watched as Rachel took the baby’s hand in hers, tracing each tiny finger. She watched the tears roll down her face, aged from her life on fast-forward. The nurse sat quietly and watched as Rachel uncovered her baby’s feet, examining every toe. She watched as Rachel leaned in to her baby and whispered softly, placing one last kiss on her forehead.

Rachel’s eyes met hers and the nurse knew it was time. Rachel offered up her baby and turned away to gaze out at the sunset, staring far beyond the horizon into an uncertain future.


Posted by on May 7, 2014 in Uncategorized

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