Monthly Archives: March 2016

Silent Struggle

You can’t see my illness,
so you can’t understand
why I take extra time
getting my makeup just right
so you’ll notice my eyes
instead of the way I walk
in tender steps
hiding the pain behind my mask.
Or why I emphasize my clothes, my hair,
anything else,
to deflect from the truth of my limitations.

I tire so easily
but I push through.
Working hard, caring for my family,
carting off here and there
wherever I’m needed
because I don’t want to concede.
I don’t want to give up.

I need to rest.
My body works against me
I am a woman of stature and girth
and so you see strength and fortitude –
or laziness.
You judge what you do not know.

It really is a choice
to wake up strong and determined
when your body speaks a different language
you comprehend all too well.
The disease says you cannot persevere,
and yet you do.
You push through
not in spite of the pain,
but because of it.
You endure each ache with steadfast stubbornness
because a defeatist mentality
would be all too easy.

And no one would blame you,
if they could speak your language.



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Posted by on March 23, 2016 in Uncategorized


How to talk about our bodies

A friend of mine posted this on social media the other day and it totally resonated with this mom of a teen and tween girl. It’s true for our boys as well, and for ourselves. Moms, dads, listen up!

“How to talk to your daughter about her body:
Step one: Don’t talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.
Don’t say anything if she’s lost weight. Don’t say anything if she’s gained weight.
If you think your daughter’s body looks amazing, don’t say that. Here are some things you can say instead:
“You look so healthy!” is a great one.
Or how about, “You’re looking so strong.”
“I can see how happy you are – you’re glowing.”
Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.
Don’t comment on other women’s bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.
Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.
Don’t you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don’t go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don’t say “I’m not eating carbs right now.” Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.
Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that’s a good thing sometimes.
Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you’ll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn’t absolutely in love with.
Prove to your daughter that women don’t need men to move their furniture.
Teach your daughter how to cook kale.
Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.
Pass on your own mom’s recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.
Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide rib cages. It’s easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don’t. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her rib cage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.
Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.”

– Sarah Kopplekam

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Posted by on March 16, 2016 in Uncategorized

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